People who haven’t learned to accept and get along with themselves tend to have more difficulty accepting and getting along with others. Learning to be happy with oneself can be a challenge for even the most extroverted person, yet it is key to help individuals achieving their full potential.
Here are a few tips which we share with mentee’s to help them get better at being happy with their selves:
1. Never say or think negative things about yourself, such as, “I never do anything right.” “I’ll never change.” The way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel about ourselves and can help shape how others view us.
2. Never compare yourself with other people. You’ll never succeed at being yourself if you’re trying to be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you, but duplicating even their good traits will manifest differently through your own unique and individual personality.
3. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations. Actress Helen Hayes was told early in her career that if she were four inches taller she’d be the greatest actress of her time. Her coaches tried various methods of stretching her, but nothing increased her height. She refused to concentrate on the supposed limitation of being five feet tall and decided to concentrate on her potential. As a result, she was eventually cast as Mary, Queen of Scotland—one of the tallest queens who ever lived.
4. Find something you like to do that you do well, and do it over and over. If you spend your time doing things you’re not good at, it’ll frustrate you and cause you to feel defeated and unsuccessful.
5. Have the courage to be different and deal with criticism well. If you dare to be different, you’ll have to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd when you know you’re meant to be going a different way is one reason people don’t succeed at being themselves. You won’t like yourself very much if you go against your own convictions.
6. Don’t let the way another person treats you determine your value. You are the only person in the world who’s an expert at living your life. When other people attempt to advise you on who you are or even judge you unfairly, these assumptions are based solely upon THEIR ignorance, and NOT upon the truth of who it is that you know yourself to be!
7. Keep your flaws in perspective. People with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people without confidence, but they concentrate on their strengths – not their flaws or weaknesses! No one is perfect – this includes YOU.
The bad news….
To be successful, you will need to work harder than most. You’ll need to be disciplined enough at times to say “no” to good things so that you can say “yes” to the best.
- You will need to be committed to life-long learning and be prepared to commit time and energy carefully considering your options.
- You’ll be forced out of your comfort zone.
- You’ll need a thick skin to ignore the barbs of cynics and detractors.
- And even after you’ve done all of this, not everything will work out according to plan.
But there’s good news too;
- Success is not reserved for a select few people, it’s yours for the taking too!
- There are opportunities in front of you that you can pursue and achieve.
- The process of moving towards your goals can be as rewarding as achieving them.
- You will be doing something that you actually enjoy!
- You will become an inspiration for others and be able to utilise your skills to make a positive difference.
- And you’ll find out that the bad news isn’t as dramatic or bas as it seemed to be before you started.